Distance. Love. Online.: Chapter 19

After pushing Takeya to the meeting point…

Yuji: “Good luck…”

Takeya: “Please don’t…”

Yuji: “You have to face it eventually.”

Takeya: “Sigh…”

Yuji: “Okay, I gotta go. See ya later!” and I walked away while waving at him.

Takeya: “Nooo…”

I then met up with Asami around the corner.

Yuji: “Where is the main heroine?”

Asami: “She will be here soon. She’s nervous about it too…”

Yuji: “Okay…”

And Usagi appears with a white dress.

Yuji: “Did you pick that dress for her?”

Asami: “I bought it for her.”

Yuji: “Oh, wow.”

Asami: “All her dresses are either dark-coloured or black. I had to buy something bright for her.”

Yuji: “Ah I see.”

Asami: “They are on the move. Let’s follow.”

And we both crept behind them. They eventually went to a restaurant.

Asami: “Eh? They want to eat already?”

Yuji: “Just follow them.”

Asami: “Wear these and pull up your hoodie..” and she throws me a pair of sunglasses. I

We then quietly sat behind their table, ordered a few drinks and cakes, and eavesdropped their conversation.

Usagi: “This is awkward…”

Takeya: “Sorry… for asking you out on such a short notice.”

Usagi: “It’s okay… I was intending to ask you out to talk to you… but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Takeya: “Oh, I see…”

 

Asami: “They really don’t know how to talk…”

Yuji: “Don’t worry, Takeya knows how to break the tension.”

 

Takeya: “Let’s know more about each other, shall we?”

Usagi: “Okay.”

Takeya: “I will ask a question, you answer, then you ask a question, I answer and so on.”

Usagi: “Sure, I guess that works.”

Takeya: “I will start first then. What’s your favourite food?”

Usagi: “I guess pasta… If you want me to be specific, carbonara… I actually pretty much like food related to dairy… I guess it’s my turn. Why were you so shy about confessing to me?”

Takeya: “Ah…”

 

Yuji: “Wow, she sure is merciless…”

Asami: “She just wants to know, that’s all.”

 

Takeya: “I do have a long story to tell… About my past, about how I ended up vowing to not have feelings for anyone….”

 

Asami: “Eh? He’s going into flashback mode?”

Yuji: “Yeah, he told me about the story before.”

Asami: “Is it deep or…”

Yuji: “Just listen to it…”

 

It was in elementary school when I got my first crush, we were good friends. She helped me with my homework, I helped her with buying lunch during the peak hours. I thought we had something, so I confessed to her before we go for summer break, hoping I have a girlfriend to spend time with me during summer, but I was rejected. She only saw me as a close friend, and she had a crush already, a guy friend whom I have known since childhood.

The moment when I got home that day, I puked for 20mins, I didn’t dare tell my parents. I never really ate for days. Going to school is no longer a fun thing.

The emotional impact got even worse after I heard news that they have started dating. They asked me to hang out with them, but I rejected them every time I saw them. Eventually I couldn’t face them anymore, I requested my parents to transfer me out, but coincidentally, I had to move out since my parent’s work needed them to transfer cities, so I followed them. I transferred to a new school and made new friends. I wish this life of no one to love can continue forever, I was wrong.

Time flies and we graduated to middle school, all of us joined the same middle school together. About 3 weeks after school started, a girl transferred to our class. She was cute, and somehow, she was asked to sit beside me.

I thought to myself: “Is this an opportunity? Is this my chance?” but after thinking for quite a bit later, I brushed it off. We started talking after asked me for a pen because her pen ran out of ink. She then asked me to help her to find her way to a stationery shop, since she’s new around the town, and so I did. We went to the shop after school to buy her a pen and some ink refills for it.

I didn’t dare think for a second that she was interested in me, she’s cute, she’s my type, but I held my feelings in so I won’t feel the pain that inflicted me in elementary school. Eventually as time goes by, we talked more and more, until sometimes we had dinner together, I just wanted these moments to last forever, so I didn’t dare to have feelings for her, I don’t want to lose a friendship once more.

Until one night, during our dinner, she asked me, if I liked anyone from the clique, anyone in class or anyone in school. I automatically became defensive and said no, because I don’t like to be in a relationship. She then looked down and it was just pure silence. I didn’t even try to talk to her anymore.

When we exited the restaurant, it was raining. I offered her my jacket so she can use it to cover herself in the rain and get home. She declined my jacket and ran under the rain. I didn’t follow her, and I paid the price for it.

The next day, when we entered class, our teacher told us that she died from a car accident last night. I was in total shock, and I broke down in class. Why didn’t I followed her in the rain? Why didn’t I insist about lending her the jacket?

The clique then went to her funeral after school, and her parents gave me a nice looking envelope. I asked what it was, they didn’t reply me. So I opened it up, and I went down on my knees.

It was a love letter from her.

I broke down, went on my knees in front of her parents and begged for their forgiveness for not sending her back home last night. They didn’t blame me for anything, but I couldn’t forgive myself. I went home, and puked again. After that, I spent my time after school at the funeral until her burial.

After her burial, I asked my parents about moving out again. They asked me if there are any problems in school, I told them no. But it was actually me being unable to face the clique, her parents and my classmates.

Eventually, my parents had to move, so I transferred schools again. But I was too emotionally hurt to socialise, until a group of classmates came to me and wanted to make friends with me, I said yes.

We graduated on to high school, we all share the same high school too. It was a smooth sailing year, and at the 2nd year of high school, was when things start to develop…

One of the girls from my clique got rejected, and we were all consoling her. We all hanged out with her to make her feel better, and it worked, we played till its 8pm. And when we are going home, we all split up, me and the girl lived at the same street so we went home together that night…

 

 

 

 

 

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